Whenever it gets towards the end of the month I get to thinking about Devon. We’re coming up on three months since he died. While I realize that he isn’t here, there are just times when I get to thinking and it’s just absolutely unbelievable. When I look at his pictures from last summer, when he looked so healthy it’s just unreal to think that he’s been gone almost three months. I really miss that kid, and I so wish I could pick up the phone and just say hi.
I wish I could send him orange tic tacs. I’ll never be able to look at a pack of them again and not think of him. He was just so kind, precious, and sweet. I know that he’s gone on to do much more important and greater things than we’re doing on earth, but it still doesn’t deaden the pain. It’s makes it not hurt so bad, but nothing will ever take it away completely.
I also wanted to include a video that was on the slide show of all his pictures at his funeral. It’s One More Day, sung by Diamond Rio.
What a rude “awake”ning that I had this morning. First off, I worked way too late last night (probably brought upon by the time change I’m about to speak about). So, I got all of two hours of sleep last night TOTAL (and that wasn’t too restful given the fact that I was afraid I’d oversleep my alarm because I knew I was going to be tired). Well, I get up (before the alarm goes off by two minutes) and it’s pitch dark. But, I knew I had to do a bunch of stuff before the kids woke up so I was feverishly doing those things.
Then came the task of waking the kids up, and what a bear that was. It was still dark, and they were far from thrilled. But, I was so proud of how each of them handled it. Because Jessi has so many morning issues anyway her defensive posture was understandable. But she handled it like a champ (I did carry her out of her bedroom just because I’m a nice Mommy [I’m sure my back will appreciate that later on today and this week]). Abe got up after taking a few moments. Erin just laid there (she doesn’t ride the bus like the other three so she steals a little more sleep in the morning). Last but not least Austin I had to coax out. But given the day and the situation he did pretty darn well.
I’m feeling utterly exhausted right now, and I think that after I take Erin to school that I am going to catch me a nap before my scheduled calls this afternoon. I think I’ll be a whole lot more coherent by then.
How did you fare on this first school/work day after the time change? In the long run I really do love it, because I get to enjoy that extra sunlight at the end of the day (definitely perfect for Summer) but man those first few days afterward are just a killer. What are your thoughts? Please share!
Picture of what’s left of my Snow Angel after a little snow melt.
I grew up in Metro-Detroit. It was a given every winter that it would snow, sometimes big and sometimes small. But there was little doubt that it would happen. As a child of Michigan (like children of all cold northern states) I remember waiting by my radio to hear my school districts name be called as canceled for the day, then screech in delight as I heard it or pout because I didn’t hear it and I had to brave my way to school. It was a tradition. When I was little my Mom dressed me before school, and boy did she ever keep me warm with the gloves and scarves and boots and such. I remember getting an award in Elementary School for “The Most Warmly Dressed Student” (I kid you not, they actually gave out an award for that). So, I was set in the younger years. When I began dressing myself though, I didn’t pay attention to the details as closely as my Mother did. So, I’d end up freezing my hands, ears, or feet off because I just didn’t bother to take the time to dress warm enough for the conditions. This unpreparedness made me hate winter. I’d get the worst ear aches, and have the most cold hands, and my tennis shoes would be soaked by the time I arrived home from the walk from school. Talk about stupid, I wish I would have just “got with the program” and wore warmer clothes so I could have enjoyed the winter more.
I moved where I am now after Graduation from High School, and moved to a bit warmer climate. We occasionally would get a big snow, but that was far from the norm. It did get cold, and there was a pretty big ice storm in February of 1994 the same week that my Uncle Tom died (which made it treacherous to get to the cometary with the ground frozen solid). But, even though it was a bit better on the snow side, there was a definite winter.
From here I moved to Northwest Indiana to go to school at Valparaiso University. The brief time I was there, there were several snows, and I remember walking to some of the academic halls freezing my butt off. I bought a really awesome sweatshirt from the student store though, that I wore quite regularly because it kept me so very warm. One incident that I remember not being so pleasant though was slipping on some ice and spraining my ankle, and my dorm’s elevator breaking the same day. It was not fun going up those stairs (to floor 4) on crutches. But, nevertheless, we definitely had winter.
After my nine month stint at Valpo I moved to Sunny Florida after meeting my husband online while I was sick at Valpo, and ended up with some really severe respiratory issues. I absolutely fell in love with FL, I loved the fact that during the dead of winter I could walk out to the mailbox with bare feet. I loved the heat, even when it was at it’s worst. I also loved the afternoon thunderstorms (you could almost time it by your watch). I just loved rubbing it in to those northerners that my temperature was 65 while they were in the middle of a snow storm. When it was decided that my family and I would move to Kentucky, I was in a state of absolute dread. Thinking about having to wear winter clothing, never to walk to the mailbox barefoot again. I was very depressed. That first year it was tough, we’d get these driving cold rains and I just could not stand it.
Fast forward, the past year to year-and-a-half I’ve been praying for snow. We don’t get much here, so it’s a big deal when it happens. The first and second year we had a mere dusting here and there. This school year we’ve had several “snow days” for ice and freezing rain. It’s been so disappointing. Yesterday that all changed. We got a very significant amount (I don’t know the official number, but it was several inches). I spent until the wee hours of this morning just watching all the weather websites, waiting for the snow to come. It finally did, and at 2AM this morning I was out in the snow shooting pictures and just letting it fall down on me. The best part though was when the kids woke up they were just itching to go outside and play. I tried to push them off a couple of hours (they were in there around 6AM) since I’d been up so late just waiting for it to come. But they kept bugging me, and around quarter of eight I was up and getting them layered to go outside to play. Abe, Erin, Austin, Joel and I made snow angels, threw snow at each other, and just had the time of our lives. Later on this afternoon Jessica came home from Grandma’s house and she and I went out there and played in the fluffy (now going hard) snow. I really enjoyed the one on one time with her, and she was just having the best time.
I’ve come to really appreciate seasons. While I enjoyed living in Jacksonville, and miss it sometimes. I don’t miss it half as much as I used to. Our life is just not there anymore. Everything feels just so good being here, and we definitely made the right decision to come here. The kids get to spend all kinds of quality time with their grandparents. The kids have a great school, they’re all relatively healthy now, and it’s a great place to raise kids. I do think I want to live in a more northern climate at some point in the kids lives though, the snow experiences are just priceless. Time will only tell what the future holds.